Our planet Risa is already known as one of the most pleasurable vacation spots in the galaxy! With the Weather Modification Net to be introduced next year (2283 / Y168), vacationers will have even more luxurious places to relax! Assuming these crazy warring races don't kill us all first, of course. One of our lesser-known forms of entertainment is our television industry. Probably the best show that we produce is a parody of the current political situation between the various empires. In the show, each race has one representative ship and crew. Of course, we've taken certain artistic liberties with the presentation of these races, purely for entertainment purposes I assure you! Some have said they are stereotypical in the extreme, but that's just part of the humor...

This page describes the 13 standard races from the viewpoint of a cynical minor race. The ships are very biased towards each race's apparent philosophy, meaning they include systems to carry out their desires (something the current SFB ships do not do all that well).
And away we go...

(R1) GENERIC

There are two types of Generic units:

• Ships that all races use. (How come races that have never met use such similar ships, anyway?)
• Ships that minor races or civilians use.

When you're in a mostly unarmed freighter, your job is to avoid getting in the way of the big bad military ships (who have better things to do!), and to make life miserable for whatever pirate that decides to pick on you today.
To this end, our Generic ship has:

• Long-range detection of powerful units, so you can stay out of their way,
• a "screaming" device that alerts every unit within a long distance if you're attacked,
• a specially designed mine rack to spit out several mines at once to deter the annoying pirate behind you,
• and a defensive system that reduces damage in case the pirate won't give up.

Generic 0Xl Risan-Style Large Freighter

(R2) FEDERATION

Hey, we're the good guys! Let's be friends. We'll give you this nice portable generator and a mobile hospital, if you let us peek at your technology and your mineral resources. (You're a pre-warp race, you won't be needing those dilithium crystals, now will you?)

Don't be afraid, we won't disturb your natural progression. Not too much anyway. Why would we want to interfere? After all, your race (and all it has to offer) will one day be a valuable addition to the Federation!

Klingons? Oh, you don't want to join the Klingons, their technology is primitive. Let us demonstrate this wide-angle phaser on a Klingon shield. See how the damage leaks through? It won't leak against a Federation ship!

Federation 0Xl Economic Supremacy Cruiser

(Don Miller editor note: The PH-F weapon in it's full description indeed won't "leak" against Federation ships, or 2X+ ships of any race. After discovering the concept, the Federation made their shields compensate for wide-frequency attacks.)

(R3) KLINGON

You will surrender your planet and meet our demands, or another one of your cities will be atomized. We can strip you of your most powerful officials, reduce your crops to ashes, and even block out your sun. We are the warriors, by accepting our protection, you will serve the Empire (safe from the other races!) for many years.

Dishonor is relative. Yes, our race did suffer a dishonor last century, which caused the change in our physical appearance. We will find the energy being who did this, and return ourselves to our previous form. Our dishonor is nothing compared to the Federation (who will steal everything right under your noses!), the Gorn (stupid brutes!), and the Kzinti (who will eat you right where you stand!).

Klingon 0Xl K-6 Medium Subjugation Cruiser

(R4) ROMULAN

We have been studying your world for a long time, and now we are going to take things from you as we need them. We have no interest in your people, your culture, or your history. We will not occupy your world, but be warned we are watching you very carefully. If you betray us, you will be destroyed for your audacity.

We have many enemies. Because of this, we take extreme measures to insure our enemies are annihilated. Our crews' sacrifices will insure that we will someday rule this entire galaxy. You would be wise to have us as your allies.

Romulan 0Xl Suicide Mission Cruiser

(R5) KZINTI

Your planet is in danger from multiple hostile races. We will protect you. We do not expect any payment in return. If you have any resources that are helpful to us, we may put in a request for them. You may refuse, of course, but remember our ability to protect you may then be compromised.

It is in your best interests to accept our protection. We are the professionals, the elite, and we will not fail in our mission.

Umm, you're not going to eat that herd of sheep, are you? (couldn't resist)

Kzinti 0Xl Elite Battlecruiser

(R6) GORN

Why does everyone call us dumb lizards? We are NOT stupid, in fact, we employ some of the most clever tactics seen in this section of the galaxy! Time and time again we beat the Romulans at their own game, and we still get no respect.

You may have heard the term "It's Gorn Technology!", implying the device is crude and is best fixed by smashing it with a hammer repeatedly. Our technology is NOT crude, here is a sample of a ship showing our cleverness and ingenuity.

Gorn 0Xl Ground Attack Cruiser

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